Over the last week or so, I’ve spent some considerable time reflecting about social media. What is it? Why do we use it? How long will it last? These were only but a few questions that came to mind. And the more I thought about it, the more I began to realise. And the more I began to realise, the more I began to wonder and question what relationship actually exists between us and social media.
For some years now, social media has been ragging forward. And since it’s inception, much of the social media world has drastically changed. Many of us have also changed as a result of it. The early days of Facebook saw all of us grasping to connect with any “friend”, even though we could hardly call them friends in person. Suffice to say, the slightest interaction at a bar, back in high school, a friend’s party and anywhere else warranted an “add” to friendship.
As years went by, many of us still have that list of friends we’ve hardly interacted with. Except for moments of exchanging birthday wishes, leaving the congratulatory comments and further connecting on Farmville, many of us will never interact with the other 80% of our Facebook being. But even the 80/20 rule seems too optimistic for our sake. With 350 “friends”, that would suggest that I’ve interacted with 70 people beyond the “Happy Birthday!!” and “Congratulations” messages. I can hardly say I’ve even come close to that number. And I can hardly say I could even tell you who those 350 friends even are.
Why continue with this hypocrisy then? It’s use has lost meaning just as it has with many other social networking sites. The true essence of social media has been lost to the numbers game. Sharing has been thrown out the window. And connecting has become second to the idea of getting the connections, followers and likes. Few hardly develop any form of relationship. While many seek to artificially create a sense of influence through Twitter diets, demanding “likes” and retweets but hardly reciprocating and blatantly message their entire list of LinkedIn connections for a recommendation.
I can’t speak for everyone else, but I believe in a sense of online etiquette. Individuals have presumably adapted how they act to their environments. It’s the reason why we see a Facebook mentality, a Twitter mentality, a LinkedIn mentality and so on, on top of offline mentalities. Of which few individuals interchange them and act the same throughout. And though the online world allows us to establish and actually build great relationships without ever meeting these great people also providing us with great opportunities, we begin to emerge as individuals that believe we can quite frankly do whatever we like online. Since there are no consequences. Right?
Apart for the obvious notions of someone seeing something online about you, the consequences hardly exist. You can only lose what you built up. Ultimately, the idea of social media itself loses. It’s so interesting to see how many Twitter dieters stop following other people. Not that I was offended in being unfollowed. Rather, in many of these scenarios these so-called dieters unfollowed a vast majority to give themselves a favourable ratio of following-to-followers. And they then still expect our support on their fan pages and LinkedIn profiles (ironically enough I was surprised how many individuals were “dieting” and even after being unfollowed they still keep connections with me via fan pages and LinkedIn. Anything to keep the numbers up).
Social media and networking does not simply travel in one direction. It’s not a one-way discussion. It is the gathering of multiple relationships, conversations and thoughts. It is the encompassment of everyone else. The self is important. But building, establishing and developing the relationships is absolutely imperative. And this is something many have forgot to realize or even acknowledge. You are only as great as those that follow you and what you can deliver back to them.
This is where social media has lost its touch. At some point in time over the last few years, everything became about the numbers. The more flattering those numbers became, the more unrealistic it all starts to seem. Our social hypocrisy has turned curiosity into pleasure and pornography. We are all encouraged to follow, connect, share and like. But to what end?
Eventually, a time will come when we decide that “liking” every brand is useless. What’s the point when it only congests our news feed and we receive nothing but a quick corporate promotion out of it. We’ll realize that our true friends and colleagues are only a call, SMS, text or email away. Why bother having 350 friends? Why bother following those who decided to stop following you? Why connect with those who only expect personal gains from your relationship? Why be in this relationship?
Are we all scared of having a meaningless social media existence if we start rationalizing our behaviours? After all, having all these connections, likes, friends and followers means something, doesn’t it? What would be the point of having Facebook if I only had 20 “friends”? Wouldn’t that be boring? 350 “friends” does sound and look better.
Should we have expected any of this? Who’s to say. You should know not to really expect anything at all.
“Dear social media…”
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Great to have you here Stacy! Really, only time can tell. But I have a hunch that within the next 5 years, or sooner, we'll see a massive shift with Facebook. I doubt people will completely stop using it but there will be a sense to move away from it to a degree.
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